Catapult

Adam Duritz is brilliant to begin with.

On the cd "Recovering the Satellites," the opening track is called "Catapult." This song was written from a perspective of wondering if life in the spotlight, or on the road, or always performing can mess your mind up.
While the crows were touring in support of the "August" cd, Kurt Cobain killed himself. This sent Adam into thoughts of wondering if there is just no way to handle life when people think you are something you are not. When Catapult was written about a year later, he thought of Kurt and he realized that there are ways to deal with it; you basically have to be strong and balanced.

all that is to say..

This has been my favorite crows song since i first heard it. If you have been around me while i have had a few cocktails and this song has come on, there is a good chance that i have told you to make damn sure that it's played at my funeral.
What i love about music, especially songwriting, is that you can hear and interpret songs so many different ways, and as we as people evolve, the songs that mean something to us evolve right along with us.
Autumn in Repair has been in the studio all week working on some new stuff that i am really excited about. This always gets my wheels turning with thoughts like, "oh man, what if we are working on the songs that are going to take us to the big time." There is such a fine line between the people who want to make it big because they feel like people will really love their songs, and there are those who want to make it big to have a fucking nice car and sleep with people. I could kill those people, and unfourtunately, they are the majority.
As i have been playing with Riddle for the last year, i have seen him change with the fame. (albeit Christian, its still there) He is not a diva, but he has a lot more expectations then he did a year ago. I dont think there is anything wrong with that, but it shows that EVERYONE will be different if you throw success at them.

I'm way off track now..all THAT is to say...

I was listening to Catapult last night, after being in the studio for the last few days thinking i would be a rockstar, after a year of catered veggie trays and sugar free redbull in every greenroom, having been picked up from the aiport by someone holding a sign that says my name on it, trying and failing ten thousand times to get A.I.R. out there and more popular, after writing 15 shitty songs for everyone good one that falls out...

and i heard this line, and i about threw up with the reality of what he is saying..

" I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes,
because i know there's little things about me that would sing in the silence of so much rejection
in every connection i make. I can't find nobody home."

For Fuck's sake friends. This is me!!!