Thanksgiving Activity

Andrew and I went for a nature hike with Zadee last Friday...

It was fun.

VOTE.

Astounding...

My life update

Hi friends--
I just wrote this update in e-mail form to Cammie and realized that I haven't seen some of you for about as long as I haven't seen Cammie, so I decided to post it here. Nothing special, just my update.

Things are going well for me...school is school. Lots of work to do, lots of things to distract me from work I don't want to do. Like Halloween and this election; knitting scarves and Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer. But overall, I am feeling good about where I am with all of the career/life decisions. I'm on a path and right now is the boring part where I'm in the middle of the forest and all I can see is the same old trees I've been staring at for a year, but eventually, I know I'll emerge and stumble upon some beautiful scenic view and it will be worth the trudge. I interviewed with the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) here in KC and I can go back to the law firm I worked for last summer, so it's just waiting at this point and seeing where I will end up at least initially after law school.

In my other life, I'm singing in the choir at church and really enjoying it. I am also taking voice lessons with Matthew Shepard which is helping me be a better, more confident singer. I also just started (last week) volunteering in my friend Derek's classroom of 5th graders at Troost Elementary. He's having me help them one on one with math (division and multiplication) and it's really rewarding. They are two really small things that I can fit in with my otherwise totally self-indulgent (if you can call reading 18 hours a day for school that) lifestyle and I'm glad for a change of pace a couple times a week.

Oh, and Zadee is about to become the most well-behaved dog ever. I am going to dominate her like nobody's business. Cesar (the dog whisperer) has inspired me. We have ordered the DVDs of the first season through Netflix :)

WTF?

Beware of Old Man McCain- while it may appear that he wanders around stages aimlessly, make no mistake: he is on the prowl with a purpose!:


And what the hell is this? Can any of you see Palin's purse? It's a canvas bag with a moose!! WTF?:


No comment:


'Nuff said:

John McCain is FULL OF LIES

Apparently, John McCain believes that his constituents are TOTAL MORONS. More importantly, John McCain believes independent voters are STUPID AND GULLIBLE.

I cannot believe the smugness of this man as he sits here lying through his teeth and stumbling over his words. He is a skeezy old man who creeps me out with his false smiles and awkward looks into the eyes of the American people.

He dodges a question about his nasty campaign which has directly attacked Barack Obama's character in commercials and rallies--with Sarah Palin calling Obama a terrorist and allowing a rally-attender to yell "Kill Him!" with absolutely NO response--and then has the nerve to say the McCain campaign has not been nasty and turn it around on Obama and say that his feelings are hurt because a Senator Lewis called him out for these irresponsible acts that JOHN MC CAIN and SARAH PALIN have CAUSED.

He demands that Obama apologize for someone speaking the truth about an outrageous event and when Obama, with grace and poise, refuses to do so because it would be effectively endorsing McCain's fear-mongering and justifying threats that may be made on his life because of this dirty, dirty campaign of lies against his personal character, McCain says his feelings are hurt. I am absolutely disgusted by this behavior. Does he really believe that people are going to believe that Obama has run a more nasty campaign that McCain? Apparently, McCain believes independent voters are stupid enough to believe him.

His supporting evidence is, "well, your commercial attacked my healthcare policy"--yes John...that's because your proposed "$5,000 refundable credit" so people can purchase their own health care policy on the free market is ABSOLUTLELY STUPID. And the merits of health care policies are precisely the things a campaign for President of the United State SHOULD focus on. Apparently, McCain believes people are as ignorant as he is and believe that they could purchase decent health care coverage for $5,000.

Let me mention one more thing about the rallies. Whether it was just a facial tick or not, in the video clip where McCain asks "Who is Barack Obama?" and someone yells out "A Terrorist!"--I saw a slight reaction in John McCain's facial expression that said "holy shit! What am I doing?" For a brief second, I thought maybe,just maybe he had a soul.

I also have seen the clip of the town hall meeting where John McCain says (paraphrase) "yes, I want to win this election, but at the end of the day, if I didn't, I can't say that Barack Obama is not a good person" and his crowd BOOs him! I applaud McCain for these two instances where I am able to see that he might still have a soul underneath all of this...but sir, it is NOT ENOUGH.

Shame on you, John McCain for creating a situation where Barack Obama may seriously have threats on his life when he is elected because of you and your smear campaign against his character. You and Sarah have intentionally played on people's fears of terrorists and Muslims in ways that are beyond despicable. YOU have incited a dangerous type of anger among people who are desparate. You alone should be held accountable for this. And spare us the false hurt feelings. I do not speak for the Obama campaign, I speak for myself. I am an American. I am not voting for you. I have the freedom of speech guaranteed by our Constitution.

On his absurd choice for VP...John McCain belives women are stupid.

Sarah Palin is NOT a role-model to women. Are you kidding me? She is an anti-feminist who has used her good looks and bitchy drama-queen schtick to get ahead in her career. It is laughable that McCain believes women are inspired by Palin.

Yes, she's given money back to the taxpayer ("Welcome to Alaska, here's $1,000"--from the Simpson's movie) but that is definitely not a strong point as she has done so by encouraging oil companies to rape the great state (which she constantly reminds us is her home) of its natural resources. And she is pushing for more. Don't get me started on drilling in ANWR and polar bears. What a moron.

Sarah Palin has NOT involved more people in the political process who have never been involved--that would be Barack Obama. I am so sick of them taking credit for the hard work that Obama has put in to run a campaign that has been inspirationally non-traditional, or at least has successfully bucked the Karl Rovian tradition established in the last few elections involving Dubya.

This woman is absolutely ridiculous and the fact that McCain chose her is a JOKE. It's insulting to women and to Americans.


Furthermore, John McCain apparently believes Sarah Palin's son has autism. Therefore, he insists Sarah knows more about dealing with autism than most Americans. Oh my god. McCain needs to be checked for Alzheimer's. He seems to be having trouble remembering that Trigg Palin has Down's Syndrome. And that is different than autism.



To close it all off, McCain says the candidates have had a healthy discussion during this debate. Really, "healthy"? I would like to know by what standard McCain measures health.
According to McCain, our economy is healthy. According to McCain, deregulation to the point of absurdity is healthy.

Did he not just attack Obama's use of the word "health," portraying Obama as an "eloquent" speaker (which is a bad thing) and turn Obama's direct statement that "no one is pro-abortion" into a slam on Obama's character. John McCain has some serious mental health issues if he believes the discussion of last night's debate was healthy.

I am outraged that the American people would allow him to get away with this kind of behavior. Lying is the behavior of a child, not a 72 year old man who is running for President. Outraged.

Halloween

We decorated our porch for Halloween this weekend. It looks awesome. We have a scarecrow that looks like John McCain (just in time for some final campaigning) and a giant black widow spider in a web that the neighbor kids helped me make. I would love to post a picture of it for you all to enjoy, but I have discovered one more thing that was stolen from our house when we were burglarized...our camera charger. So until we get a new one, you will just have to use that old fashioned imagination to envision our stellar decorations.

Secondly, Andrew mowed the lawn, so we are all set for a fall extravaganza in our back yard. We have decided to have a Halloween party to show off our amazing porch decor and costumes we picked up this weekend at the Goodwill. Hope everyone can make it. It should be a rockin' good time.

Finally, people who steal other people's pumpkins and smash them are lame. On that note, people who steal anything from someone else is lame. Back to pumpkins, though. We invested a whole day to go to the pumpkin patch and carefully select some really cool pumpkins. They have not yet been taken, but I would be really frustrated if they are. All we're trying to do is spread some holiday cheer...we've already been burgled...leave the pumpkins alone...for the children.

If a blog is posted in the woods and no one is around to read it....

Ruh-ruh-random:

"Scientists... found that alcoholic mice who are forced to stop drinking no longer try to swim when placed in a beaker of water, perhaps indicating that they are depressed." -Harper's Magazine

I don't want to talk about the election or politics in general.

I just got back from Half Price Books. I bought "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time" by Marcus Borg, "The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare" by GK Chesterton, and a $1 copy of "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver so I can give it as a Christmas present. Perfect day to sit on the porch and read, think, blog, drink water, watch butterflies, what have you.

The Hyde Park Homes Tour is going on today, which means lots of tourists walking and driving through the neighborhood between houses that are open for tours. There is a big ass limo-bus thing from Overland Park that passes my house every five minutes, and every time it passes Zadee runs to the end of her leash and barks at it, with unsuspecting Johnson Countians looking at her through tinted windows like she is some kind of crazy, which is true.

“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.” -Garrison Keillor

FAILURE.

This is the current picture on CNN.com connected to the story about the House of Representatives' refusal to bailout Wall Street. This picture is of a man on Wall Street reacting to the Dow's plunge after hearing the news. This picture may cause you to feel pity for him and his sad, sad woes.

But here's the thing: this is not the taxpayers' problem. This is the failure of greedy rich men and an incompetent administration who felt sorry that their greedy rich friends weren't rich enough. Our elected officials did the right thing by rejecting the bail out as the plan currently stands, even if the President says that the sky will fall as a result.

Please don't have pity on George and his corporate welfare baby mamas. They did this to themselves and don't deserve to have the taxpayers pick up their mess. Our economy may crumble and things might get worse for America, but right now the bail out is not the best, or the only, solution.

Political Rambling

I have entered into an email dialogue with my very-conservative uncle about Sarah Palin's qualifications. We are currently disagreeing over whether or not the Bush Doctrine is common knowledge.

Nearly every house on my block has an Obama sign in the yard. I know there are at least two Republicans on the block, but I think they might be too intimidated to put out yard signs.

Isn't that sad that there might be only two Republicans on my block?

I'm volunteering with the KC Election Board at the library rather than the Obama campaign. It's not as sexy, but I think it's a bit more laid back. I helped six people register today, and that feels pretty good.

The most recent Pitch has a cartoon of Sarah Palin giving birth to a child while simultaneously dressing a moose and speaking in tongues. I laughed really hard.

I'll end with the Winston Churchill quote that my uncle concluded his email with: "If you are 20 and not a liberal, you have no heart; if you are 40 and not a conservative, you have no brain."

The Laws of Ecology

Everything is connected to everything else.

Everything has consequences.



Each person's action or inaction matters.

SO what are you doing about it? Think of the children.

BRRUUUUCCEEEE!!!!!!!

I think it was Linford from OtR who once observed that live music is one of the truly communally-spiritual experiences remaining in America. This observation came to life for me again last night at the Sprint Center...

Bruce Springsteen took the stage just before 9:00pm before a screaming crowd, and rocked the room for over three hours. I think Gone Mild said it best: "Springsteen plays every song like it's his one chance to get on stage and bust out the rock and roll star that we all wish we could be."

While the Boss's strength last night was in his raucous set of fist-pumpers and sing-alongs, he also turned down the volume long enough to offer one of my favorites of his, "Devils and Dust," which deserves being quoted:

We got God on our side
And we're just trying to survive.
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love?
Fears a powerful thing,
It'll turn your heart black, you can trust.
Takes your God-filled soul
Fills it with devils and dust.


This is music I can believe in. Bruce Springsteen isn't worried about a gimmick like lying about terminal cancer to get people to listen to his music. He creates rock-and-roll and brings it to the masses, not with an agenda but with integrity and passion and a kick-ass group of talented musicians. And I'd be willing to bet that makes God smile.

monday on the porch

I'm working from home today, and Kristen doesn't start class until tomorrow, so we are both enjoying a beautiful pre-Autumn afternoon on our front porch. Our canas are tall and blooming red flowers, attracting butterflies and the occasional hummingbird. The sky is blue with scattered clouds, and there is an onery squirrel teasing one of the kittens, making for some mild entertainment.

I bought tickets for Ray Lamontagne in October at The Uptown, and Kristen got us tickets for Bruce Springsteen at the Sprint Center. These two shows will definitely fulfill my need for live music for a while. I can never complain about a lack of live music in my life.

I have nothing of substance to say. I just want to keep this mofo kickin'. So, I will provide some quotes:

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Every time that I see your face/ it's like cool cool water running down my back."
-The Jayhawks

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
-Mark Twain

so, really...do the beach volleyball players HAVE to wear such teeny-tiny outfits? do those itty-bitty shorts REALLY help them have better serves?

I DON'T THINK SO.

but, then again...do we REALLY need to wear similar outfits when we play in the pool?

errrrm...probably not.

An Attempt at Revivification

As the primary "owner" of this here blog, I guess you could call me an absentee landlord as I haven't done shit here since June. Granted, the tenants here are not crackheads or hookers... we're still just a group of friends in KC who likes conversation, beer, music, and deep things like God and society and culture. We just got busy for a while, that's all!

And so, in the good name of resurrection, I hereby declare this blog alive and well, all evidence to the contrary, and offer a few tid bits of profundity:

During the summer months, cherry limeades are an acceptable substitute for beer... but only in moderation.

If getting free music from the library is a crime, consider me the Godfather. Not only do I commit the crime quite often, I am also very methodical about it. In the past two months I have acquired Theolonius Monk, Emmylou Harris, the new Weepies album, Tom Waits, Garrison Keillor's "Duets" album, The Jayhawks, the Wailin' Jennies (amazing), Whiskeytown's "Pnuemonia", Stephen Stills, an American Roots Blues compilation, kd lang, Joni Mitchell, Johnny Cash's hymn collection, Bruce Springsteen, Chris Thile's new band The Punch Brothers, Van Morrison. the Elders, the Decemberists, John Prine, Old Crow Medicine Show, REM, Randy Newman, and Lucinda Williams. I love it.

I love fried okra like nobody's business. It is my equivolent to Kristen's "sweet nectar to my soul" when she refers to Newcastle, although I realize referring to okra as "nectar" does not work. I'll have to come up with something better than that.

Friends are friends forever....

Well, i hate to say it but today i mentally said a little thanks to our great President, George W. Bush. As i stamped the envelope carrying my last credit card payment which happened sooner than i thought due to the stimulus package, i couldnt help but be a little Republican as i walked to the mailbox.

then i came inside and the moment had passed.

but it was worth capturing in a blog, says I.

Home sweet home.

Today marks the end of a 10 day stretch of shows taking me all over North America. Good times, but will be great to be home to see my wife. (oh, and the cat, cant forget about Finn)

How i feel after a long stretch of shows, in random order.

Busy.

Tired.

slightly cranky.

just ate really bad food.

moderately cranky.

Lost my boarding pass. stupid.

Every person who has walked by me holding a McDonalds bag is over weight. Related?

Businessmen are lame and i never want to be anything close to that.

Wish i would have gone to Bonnaroo.

pretty damn grouchy.

New bass player is amazing. very glad he's here. breath of fresh air.

not as grouchy. but still there.

Evan's flight is delayed. he hurt his knee and is in a wheelchair.

laughing to myself. (sara would call it LOL) i just did that.

Things we dont have in 'Merika.

So i have been in Canada for a couple days now, and here are a few things that i have observed.





1) Ketchup chips are far better than i thought they were going to be.


2) "all dressed" Ruffles are like BBQ chips on crack. in a good way.


3)Smarties are not sugary, they are like M&M's. Better chocolate, but a thicker candy shell.



4) we do share the same idea about one topic..... ya know, me and Canada.



Instead of taking a car, we took a boat (or boot, as the natives call it) to the show. We're playing at a camp thats on a lake, and its easier to "boot" it than drive it, eh?


on the "boot"


thats all for now, the internet is being slow. if any more exciting pictures arise, i will post.
see ya'll next week!!

sigur ros!

for those of you who, like myself, were unable to make it to the show that is "sold-the-freak-out" and is probably melting faces right now, you can stream the new album here.

thoughts on work

#1: I feel like I'm really growing professionally for the first time in my life

#2: I am rapidly losing patience with annoying and/or unprofessional people (I almost said rabidly)

#3: I have the privilege of working with some of the most thoughtful, intelligent people I've ever met.

Does this freak anyone else out??

I forgot this picture was on my computer and i just stumbled across it. Literally made my chest feel weird....

or its the rare medical disease (see entry below)

"Veto every beer"....?

John McCain better keep his wrinkled lil' paws the hell away from my beer...

McCain

so here we go, let the games begin...


I just watched my first John McCain commercial.

and i felt myself hoping that he didnt die right there on camera.

im one of those guys now, the guys who make fun of how old McCain is.

the kicker is, i really wasnt saying that as a joke. he looks really fucking old.

Atonement

rent the movie Atonement.

You're welcome.

Hmmmm,

so here's what i have..

Costochondritis.

heres what i found when i searched for it..

Costochondritis is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects a rib to the breastbone (sternum). It causes sharp pain in the costosternal joint — where your ribs and breastbone are joined by rubbery cartilage. Pain caused by costochondritis may mimic that of a heart attack or other heart conditions.

This is the name of the website that i found when searching for it...

www.raremedicaldiseases.com

Here's how i probably acquired such an amazing rare medical disease..

PLAYING LITTLE LEAGUE FOOTBALL 10 YEARS AGO!!!!!

on the plus side, for 10 years i thought i have had heart issues. then my doctor told me that i have a perfectly fine heart!!

..oh but a rare medical disease.. did i mention that?

let me just tell you, that, I have spent the entire day at work freakin wasting time. I have been trying so hard not to fall asleep, or trying hard to just sit there...I am completely worthless...why am I even here...I should be in my bed, or else accomplishing great things. and neither of those are happening right now...

that's all, have a nice friday afternoon, I hope YOU are accomplishing great things..

I love it.

Once again, Stephen Colbert is amazing...

Novel Update #5

so things are going slow, but steady.

i have labored over this sentence for the last 12 hours. It started with an idea that i couldnt even get formed into words. then i got the words, but they just didnt make sense. Then they made sense, but only to me.
then i thought i had it, but was missing a comma (duly noted by a wise man by the name of A.Ivey)
Im still not 100% sold on it, but i feel like its getting the point across, and fairly well written.

give me some feedback, is the point clear?

here's the sentence....

It was during this time that I realized that something as insignificant as the smell of perfume or cologne that lingered in the air long after it’s source had moved on, just offensive enough for a passerby to take in the last remnants before the fragrance was swallowed up by the stench of the real world, would often cripple whatever thought my mind had been developing and immediately cause my soul to ache with the loss of good friends and memories of younger times.

be gentle, I dont have a degree..
b

have i been walking in circles?

im going backwards for inspiration these days. Not surprising i suppose.

The very first time i recorded a "real" record, (why is it that we still call them records when we talk about the studio? we've moved on so much, the 8 track, the tape, the CD, now the Mp3) where was i? oh yes, the first time i recorded a "real" record, i was just out of highschool. Three Way Stop (God rest her soul) my first band was handed a record deal about six months before we graduated, and we jumped in blindly and ignorantly, ditched our crazy guitar player who wanted to go to college instead of living in a van (ole' Blue was her name, God rest her soul as well) and went to Colorado to make it to the big time.
I wrote half the album and Steve (jones) wrote the other half. It was pretty Christian. Not really in a bad way, well maybe a couple times in a bad way. I do remember writing a song that was asking the listener if they knew they were going to Heaven or something close to that. Its pretty embarrassing...

back to writing, i think thats why i started this..
I remember writing two of the songs in Study Hall on the same day, never thinking they would make it onto an album. They both did, and they were pretty solid songs. One of which i keep trying to incorporate into the Autumn In Repair set, but it doesnt look good.

anyway, i've been in a bit of a writers slump for about a year. We wrote a whole bunch of Autumn songs about a year ago, and i have sort of run dry, so my plan is to listen to all the old stuff and see if it triggers anything creatively.
Its not working so much just yet, im more thinking about my life, and we all know where that gets me.
a bottle of Jamo, and a pack of Camels...

i suppose im back where i started, but im not as passionately into making people wonder whether or not they will burn for all eternity with the Prince of Darkness..

be still my beating heart

Sameless Self Promotion

Hey guys

Autumn In Repair
May 9th
Beaumont Club

$8.


love yous

this is amazing...

watch this great, unedited interview with a Catholic priest:



...and then watch The Bill O'Reilly go to work:

When it rains, it pours.

So i suppose the two disclaimers on this post would be as follows:
1) i am and will always be slightly obsessed with 90's rock. I will be that dad who never lets his kids listen to current music because the station will always be on the "classic rock" station, which will be of course, the 90's.
2) i may or may not be mentally unstable right now. (its funny cause its true)

So i just listened to the song "lightning crashes" by Live. By "just listened," i mean "have been listening on repeat for close to a half an hour" of course.
anyway.
To fully understand this post, it would benefit you greatly to stop reading now, and listen to "lightning crashes." dont act like you dont have a copy of that album sitting around somewhere, you know you played the shit out of it back in 1996.
basically from the solo section to the end of the song is rocking my world. i literally am moved to tears by this ending. I think its remarkable song writing to begin and end the chorus with the line "oh i feel it" and "i can feel it."
its so moving when someone nails the point that there is so much more happening in this fucked up world we find ourselves in. Forces pulling from the center of the earth. Indeed. No matter what, i can feel things happening around me, and i know that im not alone, even though i feel like that alot.
i looked up what the song is about using Wiki, which is amazing, and basically its about a friend of theirs that was killed by a drunk driver. Her organs were donated, and the song is about the idea of beauty out of totally fucking disaster.
if only all of life could be just that.
maybe it is, and im just not seeing it as much as i should.
By the end of the song, Ed is yelling the lyrics, and there is an amazing counter melody in the background driving the point home.
Oh i feel it coming back again
like a rolling thunder chasing the wind
forces pulling from the center of the earth again
i can feel it.

yum

I just remember their kindness and goodness to me, and their peacefulness and their utter simplicity. They inspired real reverence, and I think, in a way, they were certainly saints. And they were saints in that most effective and telling way: sanctified by leading ordinary lives in a completely supernatural manner, sanctified by obscurity, by usual skills, by common tasks, by routine, but skills, tasks, routine which received a supernatural form from grace within, and from the habitual union of their souls with God in deep faith and charity.

-thomas merton, seven storey mountain

Crystal Ball

Who is the man I see
Where I'm supposed to be?
I lost my heart, I buried it too deep
Under the iron sea

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall

Lines ever more unclear
Not sure I'm even here
The more I look the more I think that I'm
Starting to disappear

Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Oh, crystal ball, hear my song
I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong
So put me where I belong

I don't know where I am
And I don't really care
I look myself in the eye
There's no-one there
I fall upon the earth
I call upon the air
But all I get is the same old vacant stare



......Indeed, says I.

the day after earth day...

“Once our personal connection to what is wrong becomes clear, then we have to choose: we can go on as before, recognizing our dishonesty and living with it the best we can, or we can begin the effort to change the way we think and live.”

-Mr. Wendell Berry of Kentucky

Shredding Skill (Average: 61%): 25% Obsession and Devotion (Average: 43%): 16% Showmanship (Average: 40%) 54% FINAL ADJUSTED SCORE (with judicious usage of Star Power): 37% Average Finish: 63% YOU BOMBED OUT! It happens to the best of us. Remember, there's no shame - you just need to go back and rock harder! Brought to you by My Name Is Might Have Been, the post-apocalyptic Rock Band comic Take the quiz yourself!

wtf?

Novel Update #4

indeed you may not care, but i wrote 1,133 words today.
not much, but def. a step in the right direction.
maybe i should pay my taxes more often. it seemed to open up the creative juices.

Welp. They are due by tomorrow so i thought i would deal with them today.
Remember that haunting last line of the book "1984?"

and i quote..

"Winston loved Big Brother."

call me Winston.
call the IRS Big Brother.

Vonnegut

Now most of you know that i consider Kurt Vonnegut to be a genius, the likes of which may or may not ever be seen again...

so it should come as no suprise to you that i would post a quote or two. I'm in the middle of reading his last book called A Man Without A Country. It's not a novel. its basically the ramblings of an 82 year old son of a bitch who hates the Bush administration, Rush Limbaugh, war, and loves his family, especially his wife Jill, and has smoked Pall Mall unfiltered cigs since he was 12 years old. At one point he blames the makers of Pall Mall for allowing him to reach the ripe old age of 82. He says they didnt follow through on the promise they put on every pack of smokes, which is that they will kill you..

anyway, here are two quotes that needed sharing..

"No matter how corrupt, greedy and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, our religious and charitable institutions have become, the music will still be wonderful. If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph,
'THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC'".

Here's another gem..

"If you really want to hurt your parents, and you dont have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way to make life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something."

- Kurt Vonnegut 1922-2007

technology and my emo

I am so sad that I missed this debate on the pros/cons of technology entitled, "If the proposition of technology is to simplify our lives, it is failing"...

http://www.economist.com/debate/index.cfm?action=hall&debate_id=5

The person's thoughts they highlight say this:

"Ultimately technology will allow us to live longer, healthier, pro-active lives and give us the tools we need to help sustain our communities. Yup. Simplicity has to go, but it seems like a fair trade."

I disagree, lady.

More to come from me...later...when I have drunk less wine.

novel update #3

hit another wall.
have been writing, but its all shit.
perhaps this is the cycle, when its good, its good. when its bad its bad.
next time i hit a stride, i should not sleep till its finished.
a stride is far from here.
i dont have much left, but i just cant seem to get it going.
the begining is done.
the end is done.
the middle is coming together.
and thats about it.
i have it mapped out.
i need 3 chapters
roughly 20 typed pages.
much much harder than it sounds.

the conservative family and the politic

One of my family members is notorious for anti-Obama forwards. This week, one finally bothered me enough to send a Reply-All email to my extended family, and I thought you all might appreciate the exchange. If I get any replies, I may post those, as well:

The Forward

"This was sent by a friend. I believe it does make us
think...a whole lot. Hope it makes you think also.

According to The Book of Revelations the anti-christ is:The anti-christ will be a man, in his
40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language,
and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says that people will
flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in
power, will destroy everything.. Is it OBAMA??

I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as many times as you can! Each
opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet...do it!If you
think I am crazy..Im sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the "unknown"
candidate"

The Response

Hi family,

This email did make me think, and I wanted to share a few of those thoughts with you all, and I'm certainly interested in your thoughts, as well...

I think this election year is a great opportunity, first and foremost, for a conversation about who we are and where we are going as a country, and to not let the media dictate to us what we should think. What's great about our democracy is that it was founded and sustained by free people who think for themselves and seek a common ground in the midst of diversity, and we have the privilege of carrying on that tradition.

As for myself, I am supporting Obama. I don't believe that I have been deceived, nor do I believe I am giving naive support to an "unknown candidate". I don't think he fits the description of the Anti-Christ found in Revelation anymore than George W Bush does, and that's because I don't find the description from Grandma's email anywhere in the Bible when I read it. I'm not sure what is implied by calling him an "unknown candidate"; It can't be because we don't know about his past-- he has been very honest and transparent about his past; And it can't be because "there is no substance behind his rhetoric" as the media would like us to believe-- he actually has some very detailed policy plans available for viewing on "The Internets".

I have much respect for the work John McCain has done as a US Senator (and that's probably because I don't view his "lack of conservatism" as a bad thing :) ...), but I worry that his presidency would carry over too many of the Bush Administration policies that have severely damaged us as a nation over the past eight years. I realize I probably just opened myself to a tit-for-tat fight about which party has done the most damage, and I certainly recognize that neither party is God's Party, but I think at this point in our history we could collectively use a season of self-reflection and self-correction. Like Lent or something.

I'll stop now, but I really would be interested in hearing perspectives from you all, since I think "seeking to understand" is just as important, if not more so, than "seeking to be understood", and who better to seek understanding with than family!?! I'll end with a prayer from our Book of Common Prayer:

"Oh God, you have bound us together in common life. Help us, in the midst of our struggles for justice and truth, to confront one another without hatred or bitterness, and to work together with mutual forbearance and respect; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Much love,
Andrew

cat woes

Molly has a tendency to lie around on whatever I happen to need at any particular moment: my purse, my makeup bag, my jeans, the newspaper, my coat, my slippers, the corner of the bed where I want to put my feet, my chest when I'm trying to type something on the computer. right now she's lying on the legal pad that has my to-do, packing list, and other work-related items that I should be working on right now. so you get a blog!

I was going to upload a Molly-pic to embellish this post, then I realized that I am on my work computer. sigh.

friday in a nutshell

story of my life. airport.

what is it about Miller Lite out of a can that can be so white trash at times, and so magical at others? Last night was magical Miller Lite time. It was 70 degrees in South Carolina yesterday, and it only went down to 60ish last night, so we porch nighted it at the Marriott. I'm taking Porch night on the road bitches!
Evan and i decided to exploit the promoter's credit card and ordered the following things via overpriced roomservice
Shrimp Cocktail....(5 shrimp)...$11.
Tylonol Extra strength....(actualy i dont remember how much that cost, but i remember Evan seeing the bill and laughing)
Breakfast in Bed this morning....$35
almost rented a movie last night, but had a few too many to stay awake and watch it, so we went to bed.
Oh and we both stole a pillow. Thats not a first for me, this time it was really out of necessity. You see, i stole a pillow from a Hampton Inn back a few months ago, and now its in rotation in the McCoy home. I needed another comfy hotel pillow to even it out. If you really think about it, I almost had to take it. seriously, think about it.
Went to sleep, not drunk, definately not sober, at 330ish, room service knocked at 715.
I was in my underware, and the room was pitch black. Realizing that i was in no condition to answer the door, i frantically, and with eyes watering, head pounding, mind cursing the night before, rummaged through my bag to find a pair of shorts. Which i found, and put on backward.
Opened the door, and it was a dude around my age. had i known that, there is no way i would have put pants on. Im sure he would have been cool.
hung with a dude who was the youth pastor at Saddleback church, for years. Cool dude. if you dont know much bout Saddleback, here is the low down. Big ass churh, 30k people ish. Rick warren. Purpose driven everything.
and i called the youth pastor a bitch last night, just to see how he would react. It wasnt so outlandish as it sounds, he was having a beer (this is pre porchnight) and he made fun of my shirt.
so i said something to the effect of "shut up bitch"
and there was a pause.
pause.
then he laughed and "good gamed" me, if ya know what i mean.
speaking of getting made fun of. it happens alot on this tour. bastards.
im the youngest, because everyone else is late 20s early 30s. so i kind of get the little brother pick on. im cool with it though. bastards.
I wore a shirt last night to the show that was a little "unB.McCoylike" to wear. i knew it, but i didnt think it looked bad. The gereral opinion was that i looked like a combination of a Kohls model/employee and someone who looked like a college frat boy who now works at someplace like Cerner.
live and learn.
thats it, i dont believe i can ramble much longer, way bored in the airport, and that makes for blogging about recent events.
so that was my friday in a nutshell.

it's a problem...

...when you're in a meeting, and you're so tired that you know your eyes are visibly rolling back in your head, and there are only like 5 people in the room so you know everyone can see....

*sigh*

I'm leaving for India in 4 days!! gahhhh

it is here. i dont have it yet, but that will be remedied in the quite near future. (tomorrow).

happy oscar romero day

It helps, now and then, to step back and take the long view.
The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that should be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and die worker.

We are workers, not master builders, ministers, not messiahs.

We are prophets of a future that is not our own.

http://www.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/romero.html

Easter.

It's a beautiful day for a resurrection. A bit cold, but lovely nonetheless.

I'm not blameless. I know this to my core. There is stuff in my life. lots of stuff. its there, whatever.
I hear things that make me want to go insane.
anger problem.
I can not throw the first stone at anyone. Remember that, B.
I have fucked up many times. i have hurt many people. I will hurt people in the future. i would like to think that i wont, but i will.
When i am wronged, i dont handle it very well.
anger problem.
I have a hard time forgiving. I have an even harder time moving on. Parent issues?
Everyone has their thing right? the thing that makes their blood boil. the thing that (in the words of the late and amazing Kurt Vonnegut) even if someone had a gun to your head you wouldnt forgive. I have those things. mine are specific. Only a handful of people have reached such a place with me. Things are happening that wont be undone. This is sad. no its not, fuck it.
Perhaps its me. I can be hard to talk to, i suppose. Intimidating a bit. Of course, one would think that with age comes maturity, but one would be wrong.
So it goes.
My eyesight is getting worse. I just looked at the clock with first my right eye closed, then my left. The Right eye doesnt work as well. i suppose that balances me out because the left ear isnt worth a shit.
Even Steven.
I wrote a song a while ago called "welcome to my home." most of you havent heard it. a few of you heard it once or twice, but wouldnt remember it. There is a verse in it that rings true tonight as sleep is the last thing on my mind. I will write it later.
Apathy.
thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. lies lies lies, fuck fuck fuck. Am i on drugs? no. i am feeling too many pure emotions. not pure in the good sense, but pure in the sense of reality. With drugs, you feel all kinds of things, but they arent real. thats why so many people like drugs. they make the real world go away.
inticing.
K. im off. what an interesting night. if you read this and it borders between a Kurt Vonnegut novel and a Wes Anderson film, its because i have watched the Darjeeling Limited a few times lately, and im in the middle of a Vonnegut book called Hocus Pocus.
between that and the figurative sodomy by someone you thought you knew that only gets worse as each new phone call comes in makes things a bit uncomfortable.

oh yea here's that song lyric.

Apologies. and other empty words
refuse to sleep at night- tomorrow almost right..

cheers mates.
b

Relationships

So...if everyone is just bouncing around in the world dealing with their shit...an everything they do or say to someone else affects that person in ways the first person can't understand or may never see the consequences of...we should go out of our way to be nice to everyone. Unexpected kindness is good. Unexpected shittiness is not good. This is truth, my friends.


The Dalai Lama is resigning...and the city is robbing us. China has blocked youtube from its citizens.

Keepin the dream alive EDIT

evidently the reason Buckley got so popular out of nowhere is because some guy sang it on American Idol last week or something.
shit.

Keepin the dream alive...

guess what the number one song on itunes is today. (at least this morning)

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.

God be praised..

Thoughts of a tired man in a busy airport

While sitting in the Atlanta airport waiting for a plane home, i picked up the local paper and read an interesting tidbit on the Stimulus package.
The IRS is mailing us all letters telling us about how much money will we be receiving this year. 130 million households. 32 cents a letter. = $42 million. Silly Bush.

here's a good quote.
"There are countless better uses for $42 Million than a self-congratulatory mailer that gives the president a pat on the back for an idea that wasn't even his," - Sen. Charles Schumer.

All that is to say. I think i'm over the political talks, and here's why.
I'm not a huge fan of arguing. Now this may come as a surprise, but it's true. I think that among friends, its better to have positive community rather than arguing about shit that isnt that big of a deal. "Not that big of a deal!?" Well, maybe thats not the right term, but if you look at what arguing really is, its people who are trying to prove their point, and/or want the other person to change their mind about something.
I'm not really talking about our small community specifically. We dont really argue. We bitch about stuff. I like that.
I guess I'm just talking about the principle of it in general. Nothing really specific.

So there's that.

I went for a long time liking airports.
then i starting hating them. tons.
but sitting here today, i think i am starting to see what i originally liked about traveling. Sort of, not really at all actually.
The more i think about it, the more its really more of a mobile Wal-Mart. For every clean and well kempt person, there is an army of the opposite. Now, you dont see the traditional Mickey Mouse (i just used the Mickey Mouse club song in my head to spell out Mickey.) shirt from 1989 and stretchy pants with the best BK shoes in airports like you do in Wal-Mart. Maybe what makes it so much more tolerable in airports is that i dont see what these people are eating to sustain the life they live. The worst ever is watching some people go through the check out line at the ole' Supercenter, and then you realize why they live like they do.

jeez. i need to quit. Not enough sleep and strange airport smells and people make B. McCoy say things that arent nice about Our Lord's people.

i could probably start up another topic,(i have time) but i dont want to drain myself dry of blog things.
cheer's mates.

perfect.

Kansas City

An excerpt from Gone Mild:

A wise friend of mine explained Kansas City's penchant for non-accomplishment in the light of history. "Kansas City was settled", he pointed out, "by people who left the East on their way to California. When they got to Kansas City and looked out over the vast prairie separating them from the Promised Land, they said, 'Aww, what the heck? This is good enough.' We are the offspring of people who had a grand plan, but only followed it half the distance."

Novel update.

I hit a stride.

On the Road

Realizing that i might have just defaced the title of one of the greatest books of all time, perhaps i should rethink calling this entry "On the Road."
eh, either way.
February has been a long month for me. i have been home, but it doesnt feel like much. I have been on the road every weekend, usually for 3 to 5 days out, then the same amount of days home. I got incredibly sick for about a week and had to stay in bed while the crazy boys went out and had a good time. I played at a camp when great skiing was free and had to opt out so i could lie in a camp bunk bed for 31 hours straight. that blew.
Riddle played a show for 4200 people this month, which, excluding festivals, is a new high for me. Unfourtunately, i had a fever and the flu when it happened, and was so tweaked out on Thera-Flu at the time, i have very little memory of it.
I had the opportunity to be a "house band" drummer for some other CCM artists this month. The music was lame, but the experience was great. Resume's will be good in the future.
I have lost touch will almost all of my friends other than my wife, Steve, and the guys i tour with. When time home becomes a rest stop, and the only way to sustain a healthy marriage is to give it 100% of your time in town, the sad reality is that everyone else becomes expendable. I'm not sure if i owe apologies. i feel like i do, but this is reality sometimes right? I wrestle with feeling like a bad friend, or a bad husband, or a bad worker, or whatever. This job is so odd. There is nothing else i would rather be doing than playing music for a living, but at the same time, at what cost? I dont know what my cost is. It's there, but what is it?
I'm emo again. damn the luck. I'm in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and thats reason enough to be emo. Evan is getting dressed and Riddle is singing scales. This is my life right now. I really do love it, i mean really. if you think about it, im blogging at work right?
much love friends, i'll be home soon and we can re connect. Sorry for not being around. I feel like if not for the text message and ichat, i would be in a black hole of Christian music.
peace

Patriotism = Consumerism

Speaking to the press about the congressional stimulus package to keep at bay a much-feared national recession:

“And the purpose is to encourage our consumers. The purpose is to give them money …Consumerism is a significant part of our GDP growth, and we want to sustain the American consumer, encourage the American consumer…”
-George W. Bush, 2/27/08

Translation: The most American thing you can do right now to help our country is to spend money that you don't have on shit that you don't need.

crows

March 25th.

Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings.

Get excited.

food.

dinner, for me, stretched between about 3:30pm and 9:00pm.

It included:

QuikTrip taquito (holy cow, it's probably been over a year, I forgot how good those things were)
a box of junior mints
water
a hot fry (inner-city kids love em, they've just never done it for me. and too spicy!)
some spicy doritos
2 chocolate chip cookies
a fruit medley that included pineapple, grapes, blueberries, and strawberries
2 slices of bell pepper
4 cherry tomatoes.

random, but I think I covered my food groups...? dairy requirement could maybe have been fulfilled by the junior mints...

novels are hard

its really really really really really really fucking hard to write a novel.
trust me.

if your thinking about it, i would say do it, but know that its going to consume most of your thoughts until its finished.
me, i have been working on it since july. its not almost march. im more than halfway done, and im at a bit of a snag.
would love to be out of said snag.

thats all for now, i just needed a lament.

is that what lament means? i think it does... right?

beautiful...

Markéta Irglová's acceptance speech last night at the Academy Awards:

"Hi everyone. I just want to thank you so much. This is such a big deal, not only for us, but for all other independent musicians and artists that spend most of their time struggling, and this, the fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just to prove no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up. And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are. And so thank you so much, who helped us along the way. Thank you."

thoughts for a slow afternoon...

1. I just registered for the GRE in March. What am I thinking!?!? I might need to borrow a study book, or two, if anyone out there can hook a brother up.

2. My lunch sucked ass. In about an hour I get to eat spinach-mushroom lasagna for dinner. I am currently drooling.

3. I hate shaving my face. But if I don't shave, I look like a pube-ball.

4. I want to be outside and camping and playing games with neighbor kids and throwing frisbees and planting food and all these things and more!!!!!

5. Kristen and I went to one of our favorite Chinese restaurants yesterday. I started to order the Hunan Beef until I remembered the front page news article about the BIGGEST BEEF RECALL EVER... so I ordered a shrimp dish instead. Vegetarianism is sounding pretty good right about now.

My brain is plugged into the internets.

I just wanted everyone to know that I will not be looking at, nor will I be thinking about my laptop today. This is the FIRST day like this in quite awhile. Many of you have heard me saying that I feel like my laptop has now become an extension of my brain and that I don't function well more than a power-cord's length away from an outlet. This is because I have no choice, under normal circumstances, but to be on-line, on laptop.

Today, things change. I have the entire week off from school, and I just turned in a paper (that's right at 7:30 a.m.)--and I can at least take all of today not to work on school-related things. Tomorrow, I will start on another paper, and reviewing for my exams/catching up on class work. But today, it's just me and nature. I think we're going to go to the WWI museum at the Liberty memorial (if it's open). Hooray for President's Day/Mental Health day.

Saturday Mornings...

What are they good for? It depends on what kind of person you are.

Well, for one, there's the ambitious, uber-productive Saturday morning type. These people are up, fresh and rearing to go by 7 a.m., with a list of things they will accomplish. Not only will they do the things they have to do (bank, groceries, etc.), they may also set forth a few projects for their Saturday, like fixing that water spot on the ceiling or bathing the dog.

This is not me.

Then, there are the relax, grab some coffee, maybe an i-pod and a newspaper (or substitute your most recently acquired book) and head to the City Market kind of people. These people know the meaning of the "Saturday drive." These people, punctual as they may be the rest of the week, lose all concept of time when it comes to the weekend.

This is also not me.

There are those who love to sleep in. To them, Saturday morning does not really exist, except as (perhaps) the early hours of the morning carried over from Friday night. Calling these people during this time is especially dangerous, unless they are heavy sleepers who do not even stir at the sound of the phone. The wrath of a sleep-lover woken on a Saturday morning is like no other.

Sometimes, this is me.

I wish I was more like the first group. And therefore, today, I am going to choose to be.

so. I decided to stop making multiple trips to the refrigerator to get Just One More Slice of cheese, and am now sitting here eating Slices out of the package.

that's all I got tonight. no profound thoughts and/or quotes.

hope y'all are having a great V-day. I love all of you, even if you're dumb and married and I'm at home eating Slices of Cheese.

xoxo

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE POLICE ARE COMING TO THE SPRINT CENTER!!!!!!!!!!!

Green Valentine's Day <3

I got on-line to look for "Green" Valentine's Day ideas and am a little disappointed in what I see.

Ideas across the board are pretty consistent...
1. Buy fair trade chocolate
2. Drink organic wine (mmmm...i love wine)
3. Make your own Valentine's card from recycled paper or, better yet, send an e-card.

I mean, seriously people. How long did you spend thinking before your blogged that revolutionary list of ideas out?

There were a few ideas that we a little more hopeful such as...
4. buy organic crocuses (flowers--currently in season) which can be planted later
5. Try a lamb-skin condom
6. (for the more ambitious) mix Shakespeare's sonnets on your lover's favorite ipod mix to pop up randomly throughout the day

But still, I'm left wondering why people who know that this holiday is just a way to make money are sucked in. Every website I went to was full of "green" or "recycled" products that could be yours for just $19.99. I even saw a website that was selling what appeared to be old beer and wine bottles that had the bottoms cut off and were turned upside down and placed on a stand and being sold as "wine glasses." They must belong to the facebook group "Recycle that shit."

That said, I admit my own weakness in sucumbing to the lovey-dovey pressure of the holiday and even walking around saying things like "Happy Valentine's Day" to people. And I did send an e-card...but only because it was perfect. This whole holiday is just so strange.

I feel like there's not much room for creativity or genuine experience. Are we just following the trend set by millions who have gone before us? Or is there something more out there. Clearly, this is not just a question about Valentine's day, but generally about life.

Sometimes I find it useful to know that others have struggled through the same circumstance I am in and made it through alive...very useful in helping me drudge through law school and that I am keeping in reserve for child birth. But other days, I think "what's the point"--everyone is the same, there is nothing unique, nothing fresh, nothing new. It's like we're in Groundhog's Day (the movie w/ Bill Murray) and have no way to escape this repeated scene called human existence.

I hate the day after Valentine's Day because of the question, "So--what did you do for Valentine's Day?" Talk about a loaded question--I mean, what am I supposed to say? Most people's stories are the same old boring sequence (went to dinner, brought me flowers, etc., etc.) I think that everyone should blaze their own trail and say things like "got busy" or "practiced baby-making" or--and this is only for the really bold--"did it." See what kind of reaction your boss has to that one.

Author's Note: This post (as many of mine do) started with the intention of being about local sustainability and how nutty crunchy people push fair trade as a way to be ecologically friendly...but I just don't get how shipping fair trade cotton from Africa to make underwear actually helps anyone. Culture of consumerism...just spend more and that will fix everything...economic stimulus...that kind of thing. But, I guess I got distracted. Sorry.

Porchnight in Nashville

porchnight friends, meet

Aaron. (www.aaronivey.com)
and Bush (www.stevenbush.org)

They do what we do as far as the porch and beer and pipes, only they live in Nashville.

They play in a band called Spur 58 and they are on tour with Riddle right now, so im spending a lot of time with them.

Good men, good blogs. check them out.

They are kind of like stray cats, now that i have acknowledged them, they wont go away.

so if they respond to a post, thats who they are.

Muddy's

I never thought I would become a person who enjoyed spending time in a coffee shop just because. Then, my car broke down and I had to walk to school and got there just in time to miss my first class, so I decided to have a "Classic" and check my e-mail before heading back to the library. As people from my law school class filed through for their morning caffeine, each stopped to chat for a second before heading back to the old grind. I enjoyed the idea of setting up shop so to speak in the shop. That was Monday.

Then, today, I came back for another classic. Some of the same people are here--the dorky math teacher, who last time I was here was one a date--of sorts--with this woman who had an annoying laugh, but an enormous chest. Today, he's looking around, at the window, as if he's expecting someone. I wonder if he's waiting for her...or for someone else. He seems nervous.

Then there's Oliver, the owner/entrepreneur who is an avid urban cyclist. I overheard him passionately discussing the city's excuse for not painting bike trails (they didn't put it in their budget) with a man who looked like he was important. I like him though I barely know him. He exudes confidence and knows what he wants.

There's always the emo kids...chain smoking and drinking the coffee black--they must not realize how bad it is--but nevertheless they come back. One time I was here with Andrew and we were sitting next to some of them and one ripped this gigantic fart. I (being the mature law student that I am) am laughing out loud about it so hard that tears are coming to my eyes as I write this. Nonetheless, they are a constant here...supporting Oliver's business and keeping us all conscious of our younger, more free-spirited years.

I have become an observer of folks. Not just in my two days at the coffee shop...but this year in general. I am realizing more and more that life is a game. I don't know if it was my upbringing that kept me from realizing it or just my general "anti-establishment" attitude, but I'm glad I'm coming into a different era. Less judgmental--more perceptive. Maybe it was Nietzsche. Maybe it was Fuckabees? Maybe it just took some time to understand the blanket. It's amazing how empowering it is when you realize the truth behind it.

I feel honored to have this place where I can step back, observe silently, and sort through deeper truths about humanity. I like being in a place where peoples' lives intersect.

two things.

[one]

I cannot get my cat to understand that it is NOT APPROPRIATE to drink out of other people's glasses/cups. most of the time it's water, but sometimes it's not. sometimes I feel bad when I push her off the coffee table or cover the glass with a book (looking at this moment, there are 2 cups within sight with reading material on top of them), because I think, "well, she's THIRSTY, obviously, and I don't want to deprive her"...but then I realize that she doesn't drink out of her OWN water supply (I actually put her water in a glass instead of a bowl, thinking that she'd be more likely to drink it).

this is frustrating. and a fairly new development. any advice, fellow pet-parents?


[two]

I'm feeling conflicted about american apparel. I try very, very hard to consume responsibly: organic food, fair-trade coffee, local art, sweatshop-free clothes. (putting it in writing is a little intimidating b/c I obviously don't have a totally clean track record...but I DO think about these things to the point where I might have a neurotic guilt-complex going on.)

clothing is particularly hard, especially if you're trying to scrape by on a nonprofit salary. Sure, if I had the money I would probably shop exclusively at little boutiques, etc, but I don't, so I am pretty much limited to thrift stores and my friends' closets (which is the best place to find clothes anyway...but I digress). so companies like american apparel are nice because, even if their stuff is a little pricey, you KNOW without having to do a lot of research that they treat their employees well.

and their stuff used to be kind of hard to find in KC (thought I've found it in some places), so when a store opened recently, it was exciting! "oh boy! a store where I KNOW that everything is socially responsible!"

....well.

I am still excited about it. except.

...their advertising is so. not. appropriate.

I mean, I'm no prude (and so what if I WAS?), but seriously. girls' Ts & As are hanging out all over the place, literally. and I of course am all about pushing the envelope and appreciating the beauty of the human body, etc etc, but I am also NOT for the exploitation of the human body OR using sex to sell. to me that's just trashy and a little bit offensive. (plus, I feel like they've gone from the company that used to sell sweatshop-free tshirts to the company that sells shiny leggings and bodysuits to hipsters. but that's another rant.)

so, I guess I am frustrated that I have to choose which is more important to me: socially-responsible clothes or not-trashy advertising. I guess I just hate that I feel like I have to compromise on EITHER of those things.

...socially-responsible will probably win (plus, they have underwear in so many COLORS!). but still.

thoughts?

why I voted for Barack today:

(since everyone else is throwing in political comments)

He's left-handed.

He gave one of the most insightful speeches on faith and politics, ever. Google "obama call to renewal". I'm too lazy to link today.

His presidency, I think, would mark the beginning of our generation stepping up to bat.

He's left-handed.

Denied

I, Brandon McCoy, winner of bartending competitions leading to tattoos on my arms, who recently purchased a house with earnings from bartending, who, when called upon, switched jobs to be a bartender elsewhere for the sake of others, who, when not making sweet rock and/or roll, makes sweet martini's and shots, and other lovely cocktails...

.....was just turned away at the liquor permit renewal office.....

meaning, i can wait tables only, and i cant even take alcohol to tables, let alone toss bottles in the air or pour wonderful, frothy beer.

now this problem is only temporary until i get the proper paperwork taken care of, but i was still quite offended. and on the plus side, i think i am only working like 3 or 4 more days this month, so i have some time.
There was a side of me that wanted to say "do you know who i am?!"
then i realized that i was at a government office and they hate everyone, including their own offspring.
Dont believe me?
have you ever heard anyone say, "so i was at the DMV today, and the people who work there are just so pleasant, I love getting my drivers license renewed."

yea i havent either.

Wow, i just got scared about universal healthcare...
not that scared. Mitt Romney is satan.

Did anyone tell [you] that at the Obama rally here in KC, there was a protester with a "God hates you" sign? At first, I thought that was strange and was a little angry because, well, why would you (1) protest Barack at all and (2) what the hell does that even mean?

...but then, I remembered there was hope in the world because there was a protester for the protester who had made a "LAME!-->" sign and was following around the Phelpsian protester everywhere he went. It was probably the most patriotic I've EVER felt in my life.

Love that freedom of speech!

(this post started out as a comment on a post, but was promoted to post status when I realized how positive it is and that it needed to let its light shine on the internets)

Oh..and vote for Hillary :)

expression

How great it is to have a couple of people in your life in whose company you are largely unaware of your self - you are just free to be what you are. -tim keel


I recognize that I post mostly quotes. It's just that...really, I'm not much of a writer. What I love about my favorite writers, or writers in general, is that they are able to express the things that I feel and/or experience SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVELY than I am.

And I like to express things...I think I am a very expressive person...so I express myself through others' expressions.

How's that??

90's

Here's what the last hour of my life musically has consisted of..

Most of Live's "throwing copper" cd
"stars" by Hum
"No Rain" by Blind Melon


oh 90's rock. where did thou go?

:) I like the Riddle playlist. I like playlists in general. making playlists is one of my favorite activities.

If we were to have a porchnight playlist, what would it include? maybe...

over the rhine
patty griffin
counting crows
radiohead??
sigur ros
ryan adams
jeff buckley
regina spekTOR

...what else?? :)

porchnight in Feb

lets recap...
took a long time to get the fire started. i think it was a lack of a Flannery.
abortion, obama, YL, dubya.
did i mention February.
and silly Fred Thompson thinks global warming is a myth.
silly Fred.
oh yea, radicals, and assination attempts.
silly fred (phelps)
i still think everyone would turn a blind eye if i took a trip to Kansas.......
11:00 on a worknight.
silly friends.
minimal alcohol.
new leaf?
stinky clothes.
a sense of danger with each pop of the fire. flying sparks.
good times.
good friends.

itunes playlist

The Riddle Band was asked to make a playlist like the itunes ones you see online so i thought i would share them with you guys.

(Jeremy)

"Such Beauty" - Ian Mcintosh
This song is very fresh in it's sound and feel for worship music. Very "Muse" like in the guitars and melodies.

"Equally Skilled" - Jon Foreman
Amazing growth for the singer of Swtichfoot. The "Fall" EP is one of the better things Ive bought in the last few months. Very moving songs.

"Prodigal" - OneRepublic
Although known for thier hit "Apologize" I feel his voice is really strong on this whole record. This song has alot of underlying faith references, which is interesting for a band with this kind of overnight success.
_______________________________________________________________________

(Evan, Guitars)

"Head Home" - Midlake
It's haunting one minute and makes you want to ride a bicycle really fast the next. And the guitar solo is killer.

"Transmitter"- Daniel Lanois
There's something about pedal steel guitar when it's played in this fashion that resonates with my soul. The combination of the instrumentation and the chord structure and progression is, for me, like finally sleeping when you're exhausted.

"Help Me"- Johnny Cash
It's a reverent prayer of desperation by an old man who truly knows struggle and humility. It was recorded by a close friend just before he died, and wasn't released until after. It's slow, simple, serious, and honest, and I don't think there is a single instrument better than the bowed upright bass to portray the solace that Cash finds in this prayer.
_______________________________________________________________________

(Brandon, Drums)

"Catapult" - Counting Crows
Written after the death of Kurt Cobain, the lyrics sum up the stuggle of life in the spotlight, no matter how great or small. This has been my favorite Crows song
since middle school!!

"The Snake and the Crown" - Raine Maida
A great commentary on America. Slam poetry is a new thing for me, but i am quickly jumping on the bandwagon.

"Hoppipolla"- Sigur Ros
I'm convinced that this is the soundtrack to the opening of Heaven's gates. Convinced.
_______________________________________________________________________

(Josh, Bass)

"Got a Feeling" - Flickerstick
I first heard them on VH1, when they won the "Bands on the Run" contest a couple years ago. This song is so darn catchy! Verses, Chorus...*sigh* I wish I would have wrote it.

"Mexico" - Jump Little Children
Brandon showed me these guys about 6 months ago, so all credit goes to him. The singer has such a unique voice that grows on you the more you listen. These guys arent around anymore, but left us with some really amazing songs like this one.

"New Years Day" - U2
I saw U2in3D (Now playing in select cities!) a couple days ago, and although not my favorite U2 song of all time, its the one I've been humming all weekend so I'm going with it.

and another quote...

"The individual, unlike the household and the community, always has two ways to turn: she or he may turn either toward the household and the community, to receive membership and to give service, or toward the relatively unconditional life of the public, in which one is free to pursue self-realization, self-aggrandizement, self-interest, self-fulfillment, self-enrichment, self-promotion, and so on. The problem is that-- unlike a married couple, a household, or a community-- one individual represents no fecundity, no continuity, and no harmony. The individual life implies no standard of behavior or responsibility."

-from "Sex, Economy, Freedom, and Community" by Wendell Berry

re: emo

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
—M. Scott Peck

winter

Now that the holidays are well behind us and the amount of activity has come to a halt, the time is right for us to spend more time at home, sheltered from the bitter cold. I'm looking out my front window at a winter sunset, and although the warm-tone colors of the sky are teasing me with thoughts of the spring, it is definitely winter.

It is appropriately winter, too. Winter is dark and cold-- the ground is frozen and much is dead or dying. Much in the rest of the world and in our lives feels the same way: dark and cold. Our human history does not seem to be moving in a good direction-- it seems more like we're walking down a road that leads mostly to death and dying, a possibly permanent winter.

Globally speaking, terrorism, disease, civil wars, , climate change, starvation, and a lack of clean water are all increasing, and compounding, problems. As for our nation, our economy, the price of gas, politics, land use, religion (see: Huckabee, Mike), and our failing military doctrines have many heads spinning, wondering what our future looks like. Locally, several large-scale employers are laying off thousands, families are losing their homes, race relations are tense, and many are hungry, lonely, desperate and very cold.

I guess this is my emo moment: It is not appropriate to talk about spring yet. Sometimes it is important to dwell just a little longer on what is wrong and scary and dark in the world, both for our own understanding of the depth of that darkness, and for our solidarity with those who experience that darkness not only existentially or metaphorically, but in the every day reality of their human experiences.

The sun finally went down, and I need to go do something else with my evening.

home

She is home.
life is good again.
sorry about the blogging freakout.
love ya'll
B